Don't you want to be a Vibrator Tester?

I've got an interesting new ad on my blog.



DUREX looking for Vibrator Testers!!!

Poly Registration (JPAE)

14 Feb.

I planned to register for poly this coming vday.
I was so sure I'll do anything to study at NP.

3rd time lucky they say.
and I'll be a coward not to even try.

I was so excited about going to school and eating cheap and nice canteen food.
I wanted to go to school so that I can see my old classmates.
I hope to graduate and get a higher paying job (as compared to now).

I'm so ready to shop for "back-to-school" items if I do get in.


Then.. I realised I really can't afford to study full time now.
2 things I can't afford.

Time.
I'm turning 20, not too old but definitely not young anymore. If I were to study full-time, by the time I graduate and start working, I'll be freaking old like 23!! *sweats*


and


Money.
If I were to study full time, I wouldn't be working, thus I wouldn't have any income. I've some savings but it's not even enough to cover my school fees. If I use my savings for school fees, I don't have any left as pocket money. Both my mum and my hubby offers to chip in a little for my pocket money and school fees, but I feel really paiseh to take their money. I just can't imagine myself at 20-23 living off my mum and boyfriend. Plus I've 3 really young brothers and they need that money more than I do. If I don't study at least they can have the money for their studies. My parents are no longer young, they could at most work for another 5-10 years and that's it.



As of now, with my qualification, I can hardly support myself.
But I'm willing to work hard.
I've been temp-ing with this insurance company for 8 months already.
My bosses are pretty nice to me they fought for a tiny pay rise for me.
Yes there is a huge amount of stress (more money = more stress) but I've decided to work another year.


Please don't tell me I'm silly..

Love/Hate CNY

Loves

• lots of food
• lots of shopping
• new clothes!
• angpows
• family dinner
• spring clean (fun)

Hates

• feeling depressed cause I've no achievement
• growing fat after eating too much
• spending too much
• new clothes don't fit (too loose/long/tight)
• spring clean (tiring)
• seeing relatives

I hate this stupid feeling I always get during CNY.
Like I've not done anything in my life.
I see ex classmates doing uni and I'm still waiting to apply for poly.
I see people my age doing things they want to do, moving forward and I still feel like I'm stuck somewhere.
I hate hate hate hate this feeling like I've been left out.
I hate to feel like I'm alone.
I hate to be jammed here.
I hate this feeling of useless and totally no sense of achievement.
I hate my blog design.
I hate the feeling that I've no friends.
I hate my Internet.
I hate my slow computer.
I hate that person who caused me so much misery and pain.
I hate falling sick.
I hate feeling depressed.
I hate losing.
I hate having not enough sleep because I cannot fall asleep at night.
I hate waking up feeling like shit.
I hate my face.
I hate my body.
I hate being bullied.
I hate being blamed.
I hate people saying that I'm defensive like I'm in the wrong.
I hate having no blog readers.
I hate feeling broke.
I hate feeling confused.
I hate not being about to do anything.
I hate doing nothing.
I hate when things just keep going the wrong way.
I hate when things don't go my way.

ARGH..
Feeling frustrated.

Work safely

My index fingernail just got better and I got injured again.




Scratched by dusty boxes and paper.


Honestly, it's not easy being a filing assistant.

My 傻小妹

Last year she bought 2 cute necklaces as my Christmas present for me but she 傻傻 de, didn't bring out when we had our class gathering. So she pass them to me during NP open house. =)(She was Shan and I's "tour guild".)

Don't see she 傻傻 de, she didn't anyhow buy presents for me k..


Not only does the necklaces come with my cute Jiro's photos...




If you notice, the necklaces are similar to Jiro's necklace in the photo!
How sweet! =)


Hey people! See my sister so sweet to me, you all leh? Not guilty arh? Don't know what to buy for me? Angpows I also accept one. :p thick skin



For this CNY I received a cute greeting card from her. :)


The little girl on the card looks like me hor? So cute. :)




Greetings in Chinese!!!




=.=''


My mum laugh at me, cause got people call me 傻大姐. See where got this kind of mum de.. Laugh at her daughter because other people call her daughter silly. -.-



Anyway, I just want to say to my 傻小妹, Thanks arh.. make me kena laugh at by my mum and of cause thanks for the thoughtfulness and blessing also lah.
Sorry ah, your 傻大姐 didn't buy anything for you this CNY leh.. And send E-card like not sincere enough leh..


So I made a simple greeting picture and post it here...


For my one and only 傻小妹...


Yes, you can go ahead and laugh at my mushroom hair. again.

Tigger/F/19/Singapore

I'm Tigger, the energetic bouncer. I'm a ball of energy and am always up to something whether it is mischievous or benevolent. There is never a dull moment with me around.

I'm drained out. Feels I'm more like piglet. Nervous, terrorised and breaking down soon. Been sleeping at odd hours and can't eat well. Some meals, I could eat 2 mouthful and I feel really full, because I need the energy to work, I would force another 2-3 mouthfuls down my throat. Then some days I would keep stuffing food in my mouth, keep eating like I cannot feel my tummy. I'm stressed but I really don't know how to de-stress. I used to be able to buy a couple of stuffs and I'm happy, but because I need to SAVE up for my studies now, I cannot anyhow buy things. Unless I really really need the thing, if not I cannot buy.


Target to save 90% of my last pay. Can I make it? or will I crash and burn before I stop working? 6 weeks. 20++ days left.
All money saved from now onwards will go towards buying of my laptop if I'm going to poly, if I can't get into poly, it'll go towards my partime studies fund and I'll need to find another job.


I want to be Tigger again. Can I?

Memories (Photos + loads of words)

If you're the easily jealous type, please do not read on.
If you don't really like me, please do not read on.
If you think you know me but actually don't, please do not read on.
If you are not sure if you really do know me, please do not read on.
If you feel that I'm writing rubbish, please do not read on.
If you feel that after reading you will hate me, please do not read on.
If you think I sound like an old hag, please do not read on.
If you think you'll skip this part and read on, please do not read on.
If you think I'm stupid, please do not read on.
If you hate reading about other people's life, please do not read on.
If you hate reading chunks of words, please do not read on.
If you think as much as I do, please do not read on.


But if you sincerely wants to share my joy. please carry on. :)




29 January 2008 - Our three and a half anniversary.

I decide to put some photos together without using the collage button.
Using paint, I patiently re-size all the selected photos and carefully placed and position the photos in the black box.





Young and Playful 2004 - When I met Defector in 2004, both of us were still young.
We were always "hopping" around and I really missed those days where we would cam-whore at void decks nearby my place and even on cabs. :) Pardon our craziness. :P




Sweet and Lovely 2005 - Things got a little messy cause I didn't have things to do for more than half a year. No school, no friends, no pocket money. I helped out at my father's stall and he didn't pay me. But at least there's food everyday. Some days I just stayed home and rot. Lots of arguments later, it's finally time for me to go back to studies.
As they always say, rainbow or was it sunshine after rain? I'm really thankful for the second half of 2005. =)

*Miss my ITE classmates and teachers and some schoolmates too*




Growing Together... 2006 - We did more things I supposed. hahas. because I wanted extra pocket money, I decide to work at his friend's newspaper stall. His friend like pay 1 person got 2 person work. :P After a while it got a little tedious, as the stall is really far away from my place and somemore the stall was changing boss. I miss the $3 neoprint machine at Great World, cause got wind one. hahas. and not to forget my first paid makeover, the one where he had to take out >10 pins from my hair when I reach home. oh.. and we went on our first trip to Malaysia. :)




Busy but Meaningful 2007 - So many things happened in two O O seven. I graduated from ITE, didn't get into poly, couldn't find proper work. That few months was super miserable. I was looking for jobs every single day, but no one wants to hire me due to my limited sales experience and zero office experience. No work, no pocket money and all my friends were either busy with studies or work. I used up 90% of all my savings in my back account. All the angpow money and edusave awards money all gone. I was starting to feel really depressed again especially when Defector kept pushing me to find jobs, he doesn't believe that I can't find jobs and kept saying that I'm not trying hard enough or I'm too fussy. :( But things finally got better when I got a 1 month temp sales job at Robinson. Then I found another office job right after the 1 month sales job finishes. I've been in that office as a temp since then. Many many many low moments in 2007 but I'm glad to have survived. I'm glad that our relationship have survived too. We "as a couple" almost died a couple of times but I believe, it's through all these that we're stronger now.



How will 2008 be? Will things be better or worse?
Will I get into poly?
Will we get to celebrate our 4th anniversary?
Will I lose weight?
Will he be so busy working that he'll be married to work rather than me?
Will I stop spending so much and start saving up?
Will I grow taller? (one can dream can't she?)
Will I be prettier? Like the next Asia top model or something? :p
Will I become the next blog princess? or the next blog auntie?
Will jiejie Stephanie, Jennifer and Karen miss me? :)
Will I study hard?

Hugging my memories,
good or baddies,
they make me grow,
they make me glow.

The ever silly uglyfatchick.