how to cry and look pretty at the same time?

sleeping at 4am yesterday. I woke up today at 11.40am.

I read an sms I nearly half dun understand.

But the msg kind of got across.

My feeling?

I don't know.

I just tear a while. den stop.
den cry (try to keep the sound in), den stop.
(I cannot let anyone in my family know I'm crying.)

Yesterday, mummy already realised we kind of fight..
I try to act normal.
I duno if she did notice.


This "morning".
I have decided.
I need a break.

The whole 13months means nothing to me now.
Everything was a just lie.

My intuition has never been wrong.
It's the same this time.

I'm hurt.
badly.


I don't know how to show the pain accept for crying and hurting myself physically.
No. I'm not going to think of dying this time round.
I'm not going to let mummy sad.

I don't know what else to say now.

Mayb I'll update when I feel better okay?