dream

The day before yesterday, I had a dream about me having not enough money for studies and courses. I even dreamt that I owe my maid money.. -.-

I felt so sad, confused and frustrated.
Money, Money, Money.. That's all I've been thinking about.

Monday I spent $5.30 on dinner.
Tuesday was off day but I spent $9.60 on 2 can soup, 1 pack of potato chips & 2 huge bottles of green tea. I've very pissed that my maid finished 1 whole bottle of my green tea in less than a day! I paid for it you know. :'(
Wednesday I spent $5.80 on dinner.

and I feel really sad..
I tried very hard not to spend so much but I just felt hungry and kept eating and eating. :(
and kept growing fatter and fatter. :(

Instead of walking around (aka shopping) to use up my 1hour of break, I return to my work right after dinner (<30mins). I know I will feel even more sad if I see stuffs I want to buy yet cannot afford.

I've never felt so poor before.
Poor until I've no money to buy bras.
I know this sounds really silly. but I really want to buy new bras.
I've never said to anyone, but I cry myself to sleep some nights.
and I know if only I spend lesser on food, I would be able to buy a new bra soon. but I just can't stop eating. I eat and eat and eat.
I remember when I was really depressed last time, I ate a lot too. :(

Argh.. maybe I should go buy some lottery and hope I win the few million dollars bah. -.-