Sunday, May 22, 2005


Today's title: friends.. Posted by Hello

I had a memorable BBQ today (went out with darling & his friend (A&ZZ)). Even though the "day" started out with a little problem.. The evening was great. Okay.. Mayb not like super great that kind, but great as in.. erm.. We BBQed in the rain! hee.. It's the first time I didn't flare up.. haha.. I know a little hard for mi to fit in to a groups of ppl 8yrs my seniors.. :p so I guess slowly loh... :)

Anyway... today's title is Friends.

I'm going to talk about myself. (kinda veri boring, read other people's blog instead if you hate boring stories.)

I would say I'm a pretty friendly person. I welcome anyone (without bad motive to get near me) into my life.. I mean.. I think its fate that 2 people get to know each other.
I do not lack friends. However, I find that I do lack close friends.
I used to identify a few girls I know as my close friend or even best friend. After the few life-changing events that happened in the past recent years, I find myself standing alone. It seems to me that I have lost all support. (My parents are too busy for me.)

All these time, while trying to stand up (with the help, love & support from my bf), I tried to understand myself. I always thought I knew myself best, but in the end, I realized that I do not even know what I want!

I have to find myself, so that I can understand what is the real problem. I know I'm selfish, I know I have a temper & I know I sometimes exaggerate a little. And now I understand why people do not believe mi even if it is the truth. Even when I am simply repeating an advise or solution from SOMEBODY..

I feel so much better now, without those "best/close friends". I used to worry day in day out & get crap attitudes in return. Therefore, I have decided to leave them as they are now (Happy) and lead my own life seeking for my new close group of friends. Yes, I do feel lonely from time to time; nevertheless I am confident of finding my new close group of friends soon. :)

[Period day1]
Princess is having cramps.

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